Toi Et Moi Salt & Pepper Herkimer Diamond & Black Onyx Ring in 14K White Gold
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Ring Size Chart
Find your ring size
- Print at 100% / Actual Size — turn off "fit to page" or scaling.
- Check the printed ruler measures exactly 80 mm.
Method A — Measure a ring
Lay a ring you own over the circles. The matching circle is your size.
Method B — Finger strip
Cut out the strip, wrap it around your finger, thread the end through the slit, and read your size.
This on-screen tool is a close guide, not a guaranteed exact fit. For certainty, order a ring sizer.
| US | Diameter | Circumf. | UK/AU/IE | EU |
|---|
UK, Australia & Ireland share the letter system. European sizes are approximate conversions.
Size Chart
Find your ring size
- Print at 100% / Actual Size — turn off "fit to page" or scaling.
- Check the printed ruler measures exactly 80 mm.
Method A — Measure a ring
Lay a ring you own over the circles. The matching circle is your size.
Method B — Finger strip
Cut out the strip, wrap it around your finger, thread the end through the slit, and read your size.
This on-screen tool is a close guide, not a guaranteed exact fit. For certainty, order a ring sizer.
| US | Diameter | Circumf. | UK/AU/IE | EU |
|---|
UK, Australia & Ireland share the letter system. European sizes are approximate conversions.
MADE TO ORDER: HANDCRAFTED IN 3–6 WEEKS
Questions about metal, sizing or timing? Talk to our team.
The Toi Et Moi is a gothic two-stone hexagon engagement ring in solid 14K white gold, pairing a hexagon-cut natural Herkimer diamond with a pear-cut natural black onyx. Toi et moi — French for “you and me” — sets two distinct stones side by side, here with a smoky, salt-and-pepper look and a deep velvet black. A dark, alternative-bridal choice for engagements and anniversaries.
Two stones, one story
The toi et moi setting places two gemstones together on a single band, each hand-set in its own four-prong basket and leaning toward the other. Here a galaxy-flecked hexagon Herkimer meets an absolute black onyx — about 2 total carats of contrast and character.
The Herkimer diamond (natural quartz)
The first stone is a natural hexagon-cut Herkimer “diamond”, about 7×7 mm and 1.0 carat. Despite the traditional name, a Herkimer diamond is a doubly-terminated natural quartz crystal — not a diamond — mined in Herkimer County, New York. Its dark carbon and anthraxolite inclusions create the sought-after salt-and-pepper look in a genuinely natural, American-mined stone. Herkimer quartz is Mohs 7–7.5, softer than diamond, so it rewards more careful wear.
The black onyx
The second stone is a natural pear-cut black onyx, about 6×8 mm and 1.0 carat — a deep, opaque black chalcedony (a form of quartz) polished to a velvet-smooth surface. Onyx is not a diamond or a transparent faceted gem; its beauty is in its solid, absolute black. It sits at Mohs 6.5–7.
Choose your metal & karat
The Toi Et Moi is made in solid white gold or platinum — never plated or filled — so the color runs all the way through and won't wear off. Choose the option that suits you:
White gold is finished with rhodium for a bright white shine, while platinum is naturally white, denser and the ultimate heirloom metal. Our 10K vs 14K vs 18K karat guide explains the gold options. Prefer yellow or rose gold? This design can be made in either on request — contact us for a custom quote. If you'd like to learn more about the stone itself, our guide to non-traditional engagement rings is a lovely place to start.
Specifications
| Stone 1 | Natural Herkimer diamond (quartz), hexagon cut, 7×7 mm (≈ 1.0 ct) |
|---|---|
| Stone 2 | Natural black onyx, pear cut, 6×8 mm (≈ 1.0 ct) |
| Total carat | ≈ 2 ct |
| Hardness | Herkimer quartz Mohs 7–7.5 · onyx Mohs 6.5–7 |
| Metal | Solid 10K, 14K, 18K white gold or platinum |
| Band width | ≈ 1.7 mm |
Sizing & care
The Toi Et Moi is made to order in full and half sizes from 3 to 11, and complimentary engraving of up to 16 characters is included. If you're unsure of your size, use our ring size guide before ordering. Both stones are quartz-family gems (Mohs 6.5–7.5), softer than diamond, so clean gently with warm soapy water and a soft brush, avoid ultrasonic and steam cleaners, harsh chemicals and hard knocks, and store the ring separately. If everyday durability is your priority, we can substitute a harder center stone on request.
Explore more of our women's engagement rings and the full range of solid gold rings.
Frequently asked questions
Is a Herkimer diamond a real diamond?
No. Despite the traditional name, a Herkimer “diamond” is a natural doubly-terminated quartz crystal, mined in Herkimer County, New York. It has a diamond-like clarity and shape but is quartz (Mohs 7–7.5), not a diamond.
What gives it the salt-and-pepper look?
Natural dark carbon and anthraxolite inclusions inside the Herkimer create the smoky, galaxy-flecked salt-and-pepper appearance — without being a salt-and-pepper diamond.
Is the black onyx a diamond?
No. Black onyx is an opaque black chalcedony, a form of quartz — not a diamond or a transparent faceted gem. Its appeal is its solid, velvety black.
Are the stones natural?
Yes, both are natural gemstones — a natural Herkimer quartz crystal and a natural black onyx.
How durable is it for everyday wear?
Both stones are around Mohs 7, softer than diamond or sapphire, so this ring benefits from more careful wear. We're happy to substitute a harder center stone on request if durability is your priority.
How should I care for it?
Clean gently with warm soapy water and a soft brush, avoid ultrasonic and steam cleaners, harsh chemicals and hard knocks, and store the ring separately so the stones don't scratch each other.
What metals can I choose?
Solid 10K, 14K or 18K white gold, or platinum, from the drop-down. Yellow or rose gold are available on request — contact us for a custom quote.
Is the metal solid or plated?
Always solid. The metal runs through the entire piece, so it will never wear off or expose a base metal underneath.
Why is each ring a little different?
Every Herkimer forms with its own natural inclusion pattern, so no two are alike — each ring is genuinely one of one.
How do I find my ring size?
Use our ring size guide. The Toi Et Moi is made to order in sizes 3 to 11, including half and quarter sizes.
Is engraving included?
Yes — complimentary engraving of up to 16 characters is included. Add your text at checkout.
How long until it ships?
Each Toi Et Moi ring is handmade to order and typically ships within 3–5 weeks.
✨ Production time
Every ring on this page is cast, set and finished for your order. Nothing is taken from stock.
- Made-to-order solid gold and platinum: 3–6 weeks, depending on the design. Pavé settings, custom sizing and engraving sit at the longer end.
🚚 United States
Shipping is added once your ring is finished. These are the options you will see at checkout:
- USPS Ground Advantage — free on every order
- FedEx Home Delivery® — $10
- FedEx 2Day® — $22
- FedEx Overnight — $35
Please note: upgraded shipping speeds up transit only — it does not shorten the 3–6 week production time. Transit estimates begin the day your ring ships, not the day you order, and can vary with carrier delays. Shipping fees are non-refundable.
🌍 International
We ship worldwide with DHL. Live rates for your address are calculated at checkout — usually DHL Express Worldwide, with DHL eCommerce Parcel Standard also offered to some destinations as a slower, lower-cost option.
For many countries, duties and taxes can be prepaid at checkout for a smoother delivery — if prepaid, no additional fees are due on arrival. Customs fees are set by your country and are non-refundable once the order has shipped.
Every order ships fully insured and requires a signature. Full details on our Shipping & Delivery page.
Engraving is cut into the inside of the band, so it stays between the two of you.
AVAILABILITY
Engraving is offered on most — though not all — designs. If it is available for this ring, an engraving field appears with the options above.
CHARACTER LIMITS
Limits depend on the width and design of the band. Spaces count toward the total.
• Women’s rings: up to 16 characters
• Men’s rings: up to 25 characters
FONT AND SYMBOLS
Standard engraving is complimentary and set in Arial, chosen because it stays legible at very small sizes. These symbols are included at no extra cost:
♥ ♡ ☾ ✩ ★ ✿ ♬ ♯ • ■
Custom fonts, or symbols outside this selection, are available for $25. For a logo or bespoke design, email us an SVG file before you order so our team can confirm it will engrave cleanly. Very fine or highly detailed artwork may not suit narrow or delicate bands — we will tell you before we proceed rather than after.
HOW TO ORDER
• Choose your ring, metal and size
• Enter your text in the engraving field
• For a custom font or symbol, contact us before ordering
• Check your wording carefully before checkout — we engrave exactly what is entered
Engraved rings are cut specifically for you and are final sale. They cannot be returned or exchanged. See our Engraving page for examples, and Returns & Refunds for full terms.
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Complete the set
Solid Gold Wedding Bands
Contoured to sit flush against this setting — in matching 10K, 14K and 18K gold. Prefer the cooler white of platinum? We make those too.
Free U.S. Shipping + Worldwide Delivery
Ethically Sourced Gemstones
Handcrafted by Aquamarise®
Complimentary Engraving on Every Order
Free U.S. Shipping + Worldwide Delivery
Ethically Sourced Gemstones
Handcrafted by Aquamarise®
Complimentary Engraving on Every Order
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Frequently Asked Questions
Every ring on this page is made in solid gold or platinum — never plated, never gold-filled. Solid gold comes in 10K, 14K and 18K across yellow, white and rose; our platinum is 95% pure, naturally hypoallergenic, and white the whole way through. Available metals vary by design and are listed in the selector above. Our Precious Metal Guide explains how each one wears.
Side by side and brand new, the two look almost identical. The difference shows up over years of wear.
White gold is a gold alloy finished with rhodium for brightness. It sits lighter on the hand and costs less, and the rhodium finish is refreshed every few years to keep it crisp.
Platinum is white all the way through, so there is no finish to renew. It is around 40% denser — noticeably weightier — and over time develops a soft matte patina that many people prefer. It can be polished back to a high shine whenever you like.
Our Platinum vs Gold guide compares durability, cost and upkeep in full.
Solid gold is gold throughout — alloyed for strength, but the same metal at the surface as at the core. Gold vermeil is sterling silver with a layer of gold applied over it, which thins with wear and needs replating to stay bright. Rings on this page are solid gold or platinum only. Our Precious Metal Guide sets out where each makes sense.
Neither tarnishes. Gold and platinum are two of the most stable metals used in fine jewelry, and both hold their color indefinitely. Platinum does develop a satin patina as it is worn — that is surface texture rather than damage, and it polishes out at any time. Warm water, mild soap and a soft brush is all either metal asks for; see our Jewelry Care Guide.
Nothing on this page is pulled from a shelf. Each solid gold and platinum ring is cast, set and finished for your order, which takes 3 to 6 weeks depending on the design — pavé settings, custom sizing and engraving sit at the longer end. Shipping is added once your ring is finished, and paying for faster shipping speeds up transit only — it does not shorten production. Full timings are on our Shipping & Delivery page.
Use the Size Chart linked beside the Add to Bag button, or our full Ring Size Chart. Because these rings are made to order, we cut your size from the start rather than resizing a stock band — so measure carefully. Your first resizing is free if it is still not right. Most designs can be adjusted, though eternity bands and rings with stones set the whole way around usually cannot.
On most designs, yes — if engraving is available for this ring, a text field appears with the options above. Standard engraving is complimentary: up to 16 characters on women’s rings and 25 on men’s, set in Arial, with a small selection of symbols included. Custom fonts and symbols are $25 and are arranged before you order. See the Engraving page for what is possible. Engraved rings are final sale.
Returns and exchanges are accepted within 14 days of delivery on unworn rings in original condition. Because solid gold and platinum rings are made to order, they are subject to a restocking fee, and engraved pieces are final sale. Full terms are on our Returns & Refunds page. Every ring is also covered by our lifetime warranty against manufacturing defects.