The Toi Et Moi is a gothic two-stone hexagon engagement ring in solid 14K white gold, pairing a hexagon-cut natural Herkimer diamond with a pear-cut natural black onyx. Toi et moi — French for “you and me” — sets two distinct stones side by side, here with a smoky, salt-and-pepper look and a deep velvet black. A dark, alternative-bridal choice for engagements and anniversaries.
Hexagon cut
Natural Herkimer (quartz)
Natural black onyx
Salt-and-pepper look
Solid 14K white gold
One-of-a-kind stone
Two stones, one story
The toi et moi setting places two gemstones together on a single band, each hand-set in its own four-prong basket and leaning toward the other. Here a galaxy-flecked hexagon Herkimer meets an absolute black onyx — about 2 total carats of contrast and character.
The Herkimer diamond (natural quartz)
The first stone is a natural hexagon-cut Herkimer “diamond”, about 7×7 mm and 1.0 carat. Despite the traditional name, a Herkimer diamond is a doubly-terminated natural quartz crystal — not a diamond — mined in Herkimer County, New York. Its dark carbon and anthraxolite inclusions create the sought-after salt-and-pepper look in a genuinely natural, American-mined stone. Herkimer quartz is Mohs 7–7.5, softer than diamond, so it rewards more careful wear.
The black onyx
The second stone is a natural pear-cut black onyx, about 6×8 mm and 1.0 carat — a deep, opaque black chalcedony (a form of quartz) polished to a velvet-smooth surface. Onyx is not a diamond or a transparent faceted gem; its beauty is in its solid, absolute black. It sits at Mohs 6.5–7.
Choose your metal & karat
The Toi Et Moi is made in solid white gold or platinum — never plated or filled — so the color runs all the way through and won't wear off. Choose the option that suits you:
White gold is finished with rhodium for a bright white shine, while platinum is naturally white, denser and the ultimate heirloom metal. Our 10K vs 14K vs 18K karat guide explains the gold options. Prefer yellow or rose gold? This design can be made in either on request — contact us for a custom quote.
Specifications
| Stone 1 |
Natural Herkimer diamond (quartz), hexagon cut, 7×7 mm (≈ 1.0 ct) |
| Stone 2 |
Natural black onyx, pear cut, 6×8 mm (≈ 1.0 ct) |
| Total carat |
≈ 2 ct |
| Hardness |
Herkimer quartz Mohs 7–7.5 · onyx Mohs 6.5–7 |
| Metal |
Solid 10K, 14K, 18K white gold or platinum |
| Band width |
≈ 1.7 mm |
Sizing & care
The Toi Et Moi is made to order in full and half sizes from 3 to 11, and complimentary engraving of up to 16 characters is included. If you're unsure of your size, use our ring size guide before ordering. Both stones are quartz-family gems (Mohs 6.5–7.5), softer than diamond, so clean gently with warm soapy water and a soft brush, avoid ultrasonic and steam cleaners, harsh chemicals and hard knocks, and store the ring separately. If everyday durability is your priority, we can substitute a harder center stone on request.
Explore more of our women's engagement rings and the full range of solid gold rings.
Every Toi Et Moi ring is handmade to order in solid metal and typically ships within 3–5 weeks, packaged in a signature ring box. Because Herkimer quartz is a natural stone, each one's inclusion pattern is unique.
Frequently asked questions
Is a Herkimer diamond a real diamond?
No. Despite the traditional name, a Herkimer “diamond” is a natural doubly-terminated quartz crystal, mined in Herkimer County, New York. It has a diamond-like clarity and shape but is quartz (Mohs 7–7.5), not a diamond.
What gives it the salt-and-pepper look?
Natural dark carbon and anthraxolite inclusions inside the Herkimer create the smoky, galaxy-flecked salt-and-pepper appearance — without being a salt-and-pepper diamond.
Is the black onyx a diamond?
No. Black onyx is an opaque black chalcedony, a form of quartz — not a diamond or a transparent faceted gem. Its appeal is its solid, velvety black.
Are the stones natural?
Yes, both are natural gemstones — a natural Herkimer quartz crystal and a natural black onyx.
How durable is it for everyday wear?
Both stones are around Mohs 7, softer than diamond or sapphire, so this ring benefits from more careful wear. We're happy to substitute a harder center stone on request if durability is your priority.
How should I care for it?
Clean gently with warm soapy water and a soft brush, avoid ultrasonic and steam cleaners, harsh chemicals and hard knocks, and store the ring separately so the stones don't scratch each other.
What metals can I choose?
Solid 10K, 14K or 18K white gold, or platinum, from the drop-down. Yellow or rose gold are available on request — contact us for a custom quote.
Is the metal solid or plated?
Always solid. The metal runs through the entire piece, so it will never wear off or expose a base metal underneath.
Why is each ring a little different?
Every Herkimer forms with its own natural inclusion pattern, so no two are alike — each ring is genuinely one of one.
How do I find my ring size?
Use our ring size guide. The Toi Et Moi is made to order in sizes 3 to 11, including half and quarter sizes.
Is engraving included?
Yes — complimentary engraving of up to 16 characters is included. Add your text at checkout.
How long until it ships?
Each Toi Et Moi ring is handmade to order and typically ships within 3–5 weeks.
